TTTH
by Niko the Hedgehog
Summary: My first fic starts out as a game show, and where will I bring it after that? Nobody knows!
1. The Start

The Thing That Happened.

_This is my first fic, so I am still working on how I want to write and learning more about how to do this. Enjoy:_

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_In a talk show like area with comfy looking couches and expensive looking paintings on the wall._

Announcers voice: Welcome to Durrow's Burrows! The only talk show in Mossflower that is all about homes and furniture! Here is your host, Durrow Vliinden!

_A sharp looking hamster in a expensive suit walks in doing the game show host smile and shaking hands._

Durrow: Hello! Welcome to the show. Our special guest or should I say guests today are Mr. and Mrs. Ninian! Formerly of St. Ninian's Church.

_On the projector above, a picture of two mice pop up. One, a fat male mouse siting on a recliner with a mug of ale in his paw. The other, a lean strong looking mousewife with a hammer in one hand and a shovel in the other with nails in her mouth. They enter the room, Mrs. Ninian walking briskly waving at people and smiling. While Ninian is wheeled in by Horty's Wheelchair Top Hole Services, due to his weight problem._

Durrow: Welcome! Please come and sit on the couches.

Mrs. Ninian: Thank you! _At least someone has manners._

Ninian: Er, Thank you, er, er, Hares?

_The strong looking hare that had been previously pushing the wheelchair walks in with another capable looking hare. They lift Ninian out of the wheelchair, grunting because of his weight and depositing him onto the couch._

Ninian: Er, er, Thank you, er.

Durrow: Well now that we are all settled in. We'll start the show! So you grew to big for your old home and decided to build another, correct?

Mrs. Ninian: Well I fit fine, just someone wanted more room, _ahem_. But that certain person did not help me in building. In fact all he did was eat the food I worked to collect! That fatty-headed, leaf-covered, puddin' head! He wouldn't lift a paw to help me, some husband.

Ninian: Er, er, Me? Er, while I er, uhm, er.

Durrow: Oh-k. Next question: How did you go around in building the house?

Mrs. Ninian: With some rocks and stones and wood and, and, uhm next question?

Durrow: Why did you put up a large sign at the end of the project?

Mrs. Ninian: To tell Ninian here, that this house was not his! He did no work towards it and has no right to it!

Ninian: Er, uhm, er, uhm, line?

**"CUT!"**

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How will I turn this currently boring story interesting? I guess you and me will have to figure that out :)


	2. The Office

The Thing That Happened.

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**CUT!**

Niko walks up from behind the cameras, shaking his head. "This isn't working and I'm to busy (Human Niko coughs "Lazy".) to write you guys more lines, ya'll better get a new job."

The cast groans and starts to walk away, one of the hares walks up to Niko. "Sah, are ye flippin' bloomin' well sure ya' don't got any job for me, sah? Got ta get the leverets some top hole chow, wot."

Niko shakes his head again, rattling his head spikes. "Sorry Teklin, I can't think of any job to give right now."

The hare smiles back and says. "I bloomin' understand, sah. I don't got no jobs to spare either, wot."

Niko chuckles slightly, glad the awkward situation was ended by the large hares humor. "How about you stop by my office later and I'll try to find a job for you, ok?"

Teklin jumps to a salute and says. "Yes sah, thank ya sah. I'll be there, sah."

Chuckling Niko says. "Ok Teklin, see ya."

Teklin leaves via the door and Niko heads to his office.

In his office, Niko flips on his laptop (Redwall is high tech now.) and looks up famous scripts, trying to get some inspiration for his stories. He reads:

"Two bees, or not two bees? I don't really care when they both are trying to sting me." By Shakespeare the dancing hedgehog.

Niko shakes his head muttering. "Maybe I should look at human quotes." So he looks up human quotes and finds:

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein.

Now Niko smiles and laughs. "He's got that one right." (Human Niko thwaks Hedgehog Niko.) "Ow! What was that for?" (Human Niko. "Look up animal quotes.") "Ok."

"The fox has many tricks. The hedgehog has but one. But that is the best of all." Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Fox in the backround yells in protest.

Niko smiles again "Is that what you wanted me to find?" (Human Niko walks off muttering something about making hedgehog stew.)

Knocking sounds at the office door cause Niko to remember his appointment. "Come in!"

Teklin walks in smiling and looking thoroughly impressed with his former-bosses office.

Niko smiles welcomely. "How ya doing, Teklin?"

Teklin does a large wobbly leg. "Doing fine sah, wot. The leverets sure have an appetite just like there flippin' pater and mater, wot wot. Why just yesterday they started-"

As Teklin started going into a long tale about how much his leverets were growing up and such. Niko interrupted. (Human Niko. "Which was rude." Hedgehog Niko. "Shaddup. This is my story.") "Terklin, I might have a job for you but first I need to ask you something."

Teklin at first looked disappointed his story was interrupted, but at mention of a job he brightened up. "Anything sah. wot?"

Niko says. "Well do you have any story ideas for me? Anything will work."

Teklin winks at Niko. "I do believe I bloomin' have something sah. It's called _The Tale of The Lost Hare. _And I'll bloomin' well tell ya right now sah."

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Do any of you really want to listen to a story by a hare? Does Niko? Find out soon. :)


End file.
